Fugue in D minor, no score, furious. As she played, Teresa no longer saw notes, the flow of the music came and she did not look at her hands, she never looked at her hands. She did not want the flesh to be in the music but to be the channel that spoke to her and that channel was Bach and in Bach Teresa found the one thing for which she would forsake and betray her God. As she played she leaned forward closing in on the First Voice, the opening of heaven’s gate, the gate through which she saw the universe as it was at the first moment and her heart raced into the Second Voice, twining itself around the First and in that twining the Breath of Bach caressed her neck, his eyes burned into her skin, marking her as one. She leaned into the keys, her foot now on the pedal, now not, and into the light came the Third Voice rising over First and Second, the structure and form of Trinity in One God, One Voice—thick, true, full, rich, complete—and Teresa lifted her head as the Fourth Voice entered with a raging light, and she marched into the kingdom. Then, leaving all flesh and desire for the Union of God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, she bowed to the Fourth Voice, which was Bach himself preaching His Truth to God. Out of the crash and thunder of the octaves, out of the rage of triplets came the clean, one clear and bright shining light of Creation and Teresa held the final chord, hands on the keys. The thread then unwound, and she did look at her hands on the keys and she was one with the Trinity V1 V2 V3 and Bach, having spoken to God, told her to rest in the moments of the Sabbath of Quiet. She stopped when she heard knocking at the door.
Teresa touched the piano as if leaving a lover sprawled and spent. She touched her hair, as if feeling for the last loose strand of betrayal left by a vanishing hand and her shame at finding the one greater than God melted into desire and she glanced again at the piano, silent, the Voices still buried in the black and white keys and in the strings, the vibrating still in her body.